Apollo sighed deeply, leaning back in the chair. He wanted to praise himself for being one of the good men left in the world. But he had a feeling that Claire would shatter his bragging. It was the first time they were having a meal together. They were not at each other’s throat. He wanted to keep it that way.
"Well, if Theresa needs anything, I am available to help."
Claire looked at him, suspicious of his offer. "Why are you being nice today? It’s weird. Be a jerk. Be stupid. I like you better that way."
She regretted her words as soon as he brought out his usual smug grin.
"No..no!" Claire raised her voice, protesting with all her strength.
Apollo just laughed. "There is nothing wrong with liking the father of your child."
She sneered in response. "Shut up and stop staring at me."
"I am observing."
"You are staring."
He shrugged. "I am monitoring the health of my wife and unborn child."
Claire gasped, horrified.
Apollo cleared his throat, "I meant, my friend and my unborn child."
She thought he would stop there, but the Apollo who liked to push her buttons had woken up and had no plans to go back to sleep.
"My friend, who likes me," He smirked. "I should write an essay about that. The growing affections of my friend Claire. Do you think I will win a cash prize or will I win your heart first?"
Claire narrowed her eyes. "See? That’s exactly the kind of thing that would have made me punch you in eighth grade."
Apollo smiled. "No, in eighth grade you punched me because I beat you in a spelling bee. You misspelled helicopter."
"No, I didn’t."
"Yes you, did. You spelled helicipoter."
Claire’s hand clenched around the fork. "That was many years ago. I had the flu that day. Shut up. This is stupid."
He sighed. "Some people like to bring out old grudges only when it suits them. You started this beef at the playground. In my family, they call it the Great Playground War of 98. My grandmother has framed picture of you being shoved into the back of a police car and me crying in the background." Apollo chuckled. "Fun times."
Claire sighed. "Our child is doomed."
He waved his hand, brushing her worries away. "Our child will be perfect."
"Not if it inherits your giant head," she muttered.
Apollo smirked. "My head is normal. I am more worried about our child inheriting your temper. She will go around calling everything stupid."
"Your head has its own postal code," she snapped
That shut him up. Apollo looked betrayed, while Claire looked pleased. For approximately four seconds, both of them remained silent. But they still glared at each other, and invisible sparks were flying in the air.
Then Apollo grinned. "Actually, speaking of our child...."
Claire immediately knew that smile. It was the smile he got whenever he was about to say something annoying or stupid.
"What?"
He leaned forward, pushing her empty plate to the side. Only when the fork was firmly in his hand did he dare to continue. "What should we name the baby?"
"Oh, no." Claire whispered. She just knew they would be fighting over this for months to come. "Whatever you choose, I am saying no, because I know you. I will not name my child after some reptile or flower."
Apollo laughed nervously, "No reptiles or flowers."
"No fruits either," Claire wagged her finger. "One Lemon is enough in this family."
He laughed, because he would never name his daughter Lemon. If he had to name her after a fruit, he would choose Berry. Just Berry. And he knew Claire would call it stupid. "If it a boy, Apollo. If it’s a girl...which it will be, Apple. Not after the fruit, just a female version of Apollo."
Claire pretended to consider it for a few seconds, then she shook her head. "No," she said coldly.
"What’s wrong with those names?" He asked.
She raised her hand, a single finger pointing up. It was the middle finger, and he knew she was doing it deliberately. "One, Apollo does not taste right on my tongue. Two, Apple and Lemon are not different."
Apollo smiled secretly. These were not his true choices. "Maximus, it’s powerful."
"It’s a baby, not a Roman emperor," she replied.
He considered this, "Okay, Dragon. There is no other child in this country named Dragon. I checked. It’s a cool, unique name. Dragon Ashford."
"That is the name of a pet lizard."
They fell silent. Claire went to the kitchen and returned with more food. She ate enthusiastically, and he continued watching.
She eventually grimaced. "Stop staring."
"You have eaten enough for two construction workers," Apollo’s lips twitched with a smile.
"The baby is hungry. It wanted tacos, eight crabs, five abalones, two fried duck eggs, two bowls of rice and a cheeseburger. Now, it wants tea sweetened with rock sugar."
Apollo laughed. "That’s a baby with sophisticated taste and frightening appetites."
Claire shrugged. "It’s all in your Ashford genes."
He sneered at her, "More like your natural appetite. You went into the food business because you like to eat. I bet you started fishing because you were craving fish. Although, I heard you have never actually brought fish home! Do you eat it all on your boat?"
Claire huffed. Without warning, she kicked him. Or at least, she tried to. Unfortunately, Apollo caught her foot and refused to let go.
She froze.
Apollo raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Let go."
"No. You attacked me."
Claire gasped lightly. How was this considered an attack? "I nudged you."
"With hostile intent."
"It was diplomatic."
Apollo tightened his grip on her foot, "Is this how diplomats behave?"
Claire pursed her lips. "I am a fisherman, how would I know? Now, release my foot."
Apollo smirked. "Maybe."
"Apollo," she growled.
He smiled, clearly delighted. "Does my name taste right on your tongue now, or do I have to give you a real taste of my actual tongue?"
Claire gasped loudly, horrified. "You...you are a..a..a rogue!" He was caressing her foot and talking about such things. It was absurd! Her face began turning pink.
His grin widened.
"Apollo!"
"What?"
Apollo!"
He fought a smile. The more she pulled her foot back, the more he teased her. "You have very small feet."
Claire blinked. Then blinked again. Her mind tried to analyze what she perceived to be an insult.
"I can fit half of your foot in my mouth in one bite." He said deviously.
Her eyes widened. The idiot actually sounded impressed. "You are a pervert."
He let go of her foot and stood up. Slowly, he backed away from the table. There was a gleam in his eyes that screamed he was about to say something stupid. Claire braced herself.
With that sly grin, he shouted, "Well, if I wasn’t a pervert, you wouldn’t be pregnant now. You certainly wouldn’t have begged under me for more, for half a night."
Something dropped from the doorway. They both turned and saw Donna and Victor, who had returned from their date night with dessert for Claire. The couple looked stunned and angry at the same time.
Apollo fled to his room; Claire fled to hers. Both wished the ground would swallow them.